Building Your Corner: Real Networking Tips for People Who Hate 'Networking'
By Carlos — Boxing coach. East LA. Reads Marcus Aurelius. Been through it all. ·
I remember standing in a room back in the late 90s, clutching a lukewarm cup of coffee, surrounded by people in suits who were handing out business cards like they were dealing poker hands. I felt like a fish out of water. I was a kid from Boyle Heights who knew how to wrap hands and read Marcus Aurelius, not how to 'leverage synergy' or whatever the hell they were talking about. My stomach was in knots. I wanted to bolt, but Rudy—my old coach—had told me, ‘Carlos, you can’t win a fight if you’re fighting alone.’
That’s the truth about networking. People treat it like a transaction. They walk into a room looking for a ‘contact’ or a ‘lead.’ That’s why it feels dirty. That’s why you feel like you’re selling your soul. But if you change your mindset, networking isn't about selling. It’s about building a corner.
Stop Looking for 'Contacts' and Start Looking for Humans
In the gym, I don’t teach my fighters to walk into the ring and look for a way to use their opponent. I teach them to respect the space, figure out who they’re dealing with, and find a rhythm. Networking is the same thing.
When you approach someone, don’t look at them as a stepping stone. Look at them as a guy or a woman who has a story, a family, and a set of problems just like you. Aurelius wrote, ‘Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.’ When you meet someone new, you’re just trying to understand their perspective. Ask questions that aren't about their job title. ‘What’s the hardest part of your week?’ or ‘What are you working on that actually gets you excited?’ You’ll be surprised how quickly a wall comes down when you treat a human like a human.
The 'Sparring Partner' Philosophy
I’ve got guys who come into my gym expecting me to give them a golden ticket to the pros. They want me to call a promoter and make them famous. I tell them the same thing: ‘You show me you can put in the work, and I’ll be your corner.’
Don’t walk into a networking event asking for favors. That’s like a fighter walking into a gym and asking for a title shot before he’s ever thrown a jab. Instead, lead with value. What do you have to offer? Maybe you’re good at organizing, maybe you’re a great listener, or maybe you just know a guy who knows a guy.
Be a sparring partner. Help them sharpen their ideas. Give them a piece of advice. When you make yourself useful to other people, you don’t have to chase them. They’ll remember you. Not because you gave them a shiny business card, but because you helped them get better at what they were doing.
Show Up Consistent, Not Just Loud
You see a lot of guys at the gym who show up for three days, kill themselves with the heavy bag, get sore, and quit. They think the effort they put in today is enough for the whole year. It doesn’t work like that.
Networking is a long game. It’s about consistency. If you only reach out to people when you need something, you’re not networking; you’re panicking. Send that article you thought they’d find interesting. Shoot them a text when you hear about something that fits their interests. Keep the relationship warm even when there’s no ‘win’ in it for you. It’s the small, consistent actions that build a reputation. People want to be around someone who is reliable, steady, and present.
Know Your Own Corner
Before you go out there trying to build a network, you need to know who you are. If you don’t have a sense of purpose, you’re just adrift. Aurelius talks a lot about staying true to your own nature. If you’re trying to be something you’re not just to impress some suit in a skyscraper, you’re going to get exposed.
I’m a guy from East LA. I talk with my hands. I’ve got scars. I don’t hide that. I don’t put on a fake persona when I’m at a nonprofit board meeting or talking to a donor. Authenticity is a magnet. People are starved for it. When you’re comfortable in your own skin, other people feel comfortable around you. That’s the secret sauce. You don’t need a fancy pitch; you just need to be the person you claim to be.
The Hard Truth: It’s Not About You
I’ve spent 25 years in this gym, and you know what the biggest lesson is? The best fighters are the ones who are most invested in their teammates. They push each other, they hold each other accountable, and they celebrate each other’s wins.
If your goal is to ‘get ahead,’ you’re starting from the wrong place. If your goal is to build a community where everyone has a fighting chance, you’ll find that the networking happens naturally. You aren't building a 'network'; you’re building a village. And when things get tough—because they always do—that village is what keeps you standing.
So, stop worrying about the handshake, the suit, or the elevator pitch. Focus on the person in front of you. Listen more than you talk. Be useful. Be real.
We’ve probably all got a bit of that ‘kid from the streets’ insecurity in us, wondering if we belong in the room. You do. Just make sure you’re walking into that room with your head up and your gloves on.
How about you? What’s one relationship you’ve been neglecting lately that you think is worth reaching out to? Let’s talk about it in the comments. I’m here if you need to workshop how to start that conversation.