Goal Setting for the Long Haul: Why You Need to Think in Seasons
By Vince — Single dad of two. Real about the hard days. Makes mac and cheese from scratch. ·
It’s August 2026. If you’re anything like me, you’re looking at the calendar and realizing the summer is slipping through your fingers like sand. Emma is getting ready for second grade, Jack is obsessed with the idea that he’s 'basically a kindergartner' already, and I’m staring at a construction site downtown that’s behind schedule because of the heat.
We talk about goal setting like it’s a sprint. We set these massive, shiny targets on January 1st, and by the time August rolls around, most of us have either hit a wall or completely forgotten what we were aiming for. I used to be that guy. I’d set a goal to get in shape, start a side hustle, or fix my house, and I’d beat myself up when life—and two kids—got in the way.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned: life isn't a straight line. It’s a series of seasons. And if your goal-setting strategy doesn't account for the fact that some weeks you’re just trying to keep the mac and cheese from boiling over while negotiating a bedtime dispute, then your strategy is broken.
Stop Setting Goals You Can’t Actually Live With
In my line of work, if I promise a client a project completion date without accounting for supply chain delays or bad weather, I’m setting myself up for a lawsuit. Why do we treat our personal goals any differently?
We tend to set 'hero' goals. We want to be the dad who coaches every sport, the employee who gets the promotion, and the guy who meal preps for the entire month on a Sunday. It’s noble. It’s also a recipe for burnout. When I’m managing a project, I break it down into milestones. I look at the reality of the site. If it’s pouring rain, we aren’t pouring concrete. Period.
Your life is the same. If you have the kids for the week and you know Tuesday is soccer practice and Thursday is a dentist appointment, don't set a goal to 'read one book a week.' You’re setting yourself up for failure, and that feeling of falling short is what kills your motivation faster than anything else.
The 'Season' Method: Goal Setting for Realists
Instead of looking at the next twelve months, I’ve started looking at the next ninety days. I call it 'Seasonal Goal Setting.'
Think of your life in quarters. What’s going on in your world right now?
- The Heavy Load Season: Maybe you’re slammed at work or the kids are going through a transition. Your goal shouldn’t be 'learn a new language.' Your goal should be 'maintain.' Keep the house clean, keep the kids fed, and get eight hours of sleep. Seriously. That’s a win.
- The Building Season: Maybe things have settled down. You’ve got a bit of margin. This is when you push. This is when you take that certification course or start the home project you’ve been putting off.
Be honest about where you are. If you’re in a survival season, your goal is survival. If you’re in a building season, your goal is growth. It sounds simple, but it stops you from feeling like a failure when you’re just actually human.
Audit Your 'Must-Dos' vs. 'Should-Dos'
I’m a 6w5. I want to be prepared, I want to be safe, and I like having a plan. But I’ve had to learn the hard way that not every plan is worth the energy.
Every Sunday night, while the kids are finally asleep and the house is quiet, I sit down with a notebook. I write down everything I feel like I need to do. Then, I cross out anything that isn’t directly tied to my core responsibilities: being a good dad, doing my job well, and keeping my own head on straight.
If a goal doesn't serve those three things, it’s a distraction. Is it a hobby? Great. But don't treat your hobbies like high-stakes work projects. If you don't get to the guitar lessons this week because Jack had a fever, that’s not a failure. That’s being a dad.
Small Milestones Keep the Lights On
When we look at a big goal, it’s intimidating. It’s like looking at a building blueprint and seeing a skyscraper. You don't build the skyscraper by looking at the top floor; you build it by laying one brick at a time.
If you want to save money, don't just say 'I want to save $5,000.' Say, 'I’m going to skip the takeout twice this week and put that money in the savings account.' That’s it. That’s the goal. It’s actionable, it’s measurable, and it’s done in seven days. Success breeds success. When you hit a small goal, you get a hit of dopamine, and you’re more likely to tackle the next one.
You Are the Project Manager of Your Life
Look, I know the days feel long. Sometimes you’re exhausted, and the idea of 'setting goals' feels like just another chore on a list that’s already too long. But you’re the project manager of your own life. If you don't steer the ship, you’re just drifting, and drift usually leads to rocks.
Be kind to yourself. If your goal this week is just to make sure the kids have clean socks and you get to work on time, that’s enough. Build your goals around your life, not the other way around.
How are you guys handling the transition into the fall? Are you feeling like you’re in a building season or a heavy load season? Hit me up in the comments or shoot me a message—I’d love to hear how you’re keeping the wheels on the bus this month. Let’s figure it out together.