Networking Tips for People Who Actually Hate Networking
By Dante — Emotionally available. Yes, we exist. No, I won't explain your ex to you. Okay fine, I will. ·
Look, I get it. The word 'networking' feels like a synonym for 'standing in a room with a warm beer, trying to force a connection with someone who is clearly scanning the crowd for someone more important than you.' It’s performative, it’s sweaty, and honestly? It’s usually a waste of time.
As a UX designer, I spend my days obsessing over user flows and friction points. Networking, as it’s traditionally taught, is a friction-filled nightmare. It’s high-effort, low-reward, and lacks any semblance of genuine human connection. But in 2026, we’re all realizing that the 'hustle' culture of the early 20s was a fever dream. We don’t need more LinkedIn connections; we need more people who actually give a damn about what we’re building.
Here is how to network without losing your soul or acting like a person you wouldn't want to grab coffee with.
Stop 'Networking' and Start Curating
The biggest mistake people make is thinking they need to know everyone. You don’t. You need to know the right people, and more importantly, you need to be the kind of person others want to know.
I treat my professional circle like my therapy sessions. It’s not about quantity; it’s about depth and alignment. If you’re going to a mixer, don’t walk in with a 'pitch.' Walk in with a question. If you’re a designer, don’t tell people you’re 'looking for opportunities.' Tell them about the specific problem you’re trying to solve, like why Figma keeps making the same UI mistakes or how you’re trying to build more accessible interfaces. People love to solve problems. If you show them a problem, you’re not a salesperson; you’re a collaborator.
The 'Follow-Up' Isn’t a Transaction
We’ve all received that message three days after an event: 'Hey, great meeting you! Let’s hop on a call to discuss how we can help each other.' Delete. Archive. Avoid.
If you want to build a network that actually functions, stop treating the follow-up like a business transaction. If you had a good conversation with someone, send them something that proves you were actually listening. Found an article about a niche topic you guys argued about? Send it. See a tool that solves that annoying bug they mentioned? Drop the link.
When I was going through my breakup a few years back, I realized that the people I stayed close with weren't the ones who sent me standard 'How are you?' texts. They were the ones who sent me a meme that referenced a specific, inside-joke conversation we’d had months prior. Professional networking is the same. It’s about signaling: I heard you, I remember you, and I value the exchange. That’s it.
Lean Into the 'Everyman' Advantage
You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. In fact, being the smartest person in the room is a terrible networking strategy because it makes everyone else feel like they have to defend their territory.
My best professional relationships came from admitting I didn’t know something. There is a weird, magnetic power in saying, 'I’ve been struggling with this specific flow for three days, have you ever run into this?' It’s vulnerable, it’s low-stakes, and it invites the other person to be an expert. It shifts the dynamic from a contest to a partnership. If you’re constantly trying to perform competence, you’re exhausted, and the people around you are bored. Drop the mask. It’s 2026—we’re all tired of the polish.
Audit Your Digital Footprint
I’m a UX designer, so I care about how things look, but I care more about how they function. Your LinkedIn shouldn't be a resume; it should be a portfolio of your thoughts. If you’re posting generic 'I’m so excited to announce' posts, you’re just noise.
Share the messy stuff. Share the project that failed. Share the thing you learned in therapy that actually helped you manage your team better. When you write from your actual lived experience, you filter your audience. The people who are put off by your personality aren't the people you want to work with anyway. The people who message you saying, 'I felt that,' are the ones who will end up being your co-founders, your mentors, or your best professional allies.
The End Goal
Networking is just a fancy word for building a community. If your community feels like work, you’re doing it wrong. Focus on being a person that others feel comfortable talking to. Be the person who asks the question, listens to the answer, and doesn't immediately try to 'get' something out of it.
It’s a long game. And yes, it requires emotional labor. But if you’ve survived a bad breakup or a toxic workplace, you’ve already got the tools. You’re just applying them to your career instead of your dating life.
Anyway, that’s my take. If you’re struggling with how to approach someone or just need a gut-check on a professional interaction, you know where to find me. Let’s talk about it.