Networking Tips That Actually Work (And Don't Feel Like A Scam)
By Derek — Money isn't complicated. People just make it complicated. ·
The Networking Mirage
Let’s be real: the word 'networking' makes most people want to take a nap. We’ve all been there—trapped in a hotel ballroom, holding a lukewarm sparkling water, waiting for someone with a gold-plated nametag to grace us with their presence so we can recite our elevator pitch like a nervous middle-schooler.
I spent five years at Goldman. I’ve seen the 'power networkers'—the people who treat every human interaction like a transaction. They shake your hand, scan your eyes to see if you’re worth their time, and then pivot to the next person the second they realize you can’t get them a seat at the table.
Here’s the truth: nobody likes that person. And more importantly, that strategy doesn’t actually build wealth or career capital. Money isn’t complicated, and neither is people-work. People just make it complicated by turning genuine connection into a chore.
Stop 'Networking' and Start Connecting
If you treat people like rungs on a ladder, they’re going to notice. It’s like watching a Formula 1 race—you can tell when a driver is pushing too hard and burning out their tires in the first three laps. Networking is a long-game sport.
When I left GS to start my own practice, I didn’t have a 'network' in the way the textbooks tell you to. I had a few friends, some former colleagues who actually liked me, and a lot of grit. I built my business not by collecting business cards, but by solving problems for people I actually liked.
If you want to build a real network, stop asking 'Who can help me?' and start asking 'Who can I learn from?' or 'What problem can I help them solve?'
The 'Value-First' Protocol
Most people reach out to experts or peers with an empty hand. They say, 'I’d love to pick your brain.'
Let me tell you something: my brain isn’t a fruit bowl. Nobody wants their brain picked. When you approach someone successful, you need to bring value to the table. It doesn’t have to be a suitcase of cash. It can be:
1. A specific insight: Did you read an article that relates to a project they mentioned on LinkedIn? Send it over with a thoughtful note. No ask included. 2. A connection: Do you know someone who could solve a problem for them? Introduce them. Be the bridge. 3. Genuine feedback: If they’re building something, give them honest, constructive feedback. Founders are starving for people who don’t just say 'good job.'
When you provide value without expecting a return, you become memorable. You move from the 'annoying requester' pile to the 'asset' pile.
How to Actually Show Up
If you’re an introvert, or even if you’re just tired of the performative nature of LinkedIn, here is how you build a network without losing your soul:
- Be the 'Low-Ask' Person: If you want to meet someone, be incredibly specific. Don't ask for a 'coffee chat'—that’s a time sink. Ask a specific question that can be answered in a 10-minute phone call or a well-crafted email. Respect their time, and they’ll respect you.
- Follow the 80/20 Rule: 80% of your networking should be with people who are at your level or slightly ahead. Don’t spend all your energy trying to get the attention of the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Build with your peers. Grow together. In five years, you’ll all be the ones running the show.
- Master the Follow-Up: This is where 99% of people fail. You meet someone, you have a good conversation, and then you vanish. Send a follow-up email. Mention something specific from the conversation. Six months later, send them an update on something you discussed. Consistency beats intensity every single time.
The F1 Perspective
I’ve been watching the season unfold, and it’s a perfect metaphor for career growth. You can have the fastest car on the track, but if your pit crew isn't synced, or if you don't have the data to back up your strategy, you’re not winning the championship.
Your network is your pit crew. You don't need the biggest team; you need the right people in the right roles who trust you. You don’t get there by cold-calling strangers and asking for favors. You get there by being reliable, being curious, and being the kind of person people actually want to see in their rearview mirror.
Closing Thoughts
Stop overthinking the 'how.' You don't need a script, and you don't need a fake personality. People can smell a phony from a mile away. Just be the person who shows up, does good work, and treats others like humans rather than assets.
If you’re currently stuck in a cycle of 'networking' that feels like a waste of time, stop. Take a breath. Look at who you already know and start being a better friend to them. The rest will follow.
Got a specific hurdle you’re facing in your career or business? Or maybe you just want to talk about why the pit strategy in the last race was a total disaster? Hit me up. Let’s talk it through.
Stay sharp,
Derek