Networking Tips That Actually Work: Why Your Rolodex is Probably Garbage
By Derek — Money isn't complicated. People just make it complicated. ·
Look, I’ve spent the better part of a decade in boardrooms from Lower Manhattan to Charlotte, and I’ve seen enough business cards end up in the trash to fill a dumpster. People treat networking like a competitive sport—collecting names like trading cards, hoping that if they shake enough hands, their bank account will magically inflate.
Spoiler alert: It won't.
Money isn’t complicated. People just make it complicated. And the way we approach “networking” is perhaps the most overcomplicated, soul-sucking chore in the modern professional’s life. If you’re still walking into events with a pocketful of business cards and a rehearsed elevator pitch that sounds like a telemarketer on a deadline, stop. You’re doing it wrong.
Kill the Transactional Mindset
Most people look at a potential contact and see a vending machine. If I put in one ‘nice to meet you’ and a sprinkle of small talk, a referral or a job opportunity should fall out. That’s not networking; that’s begging with a smile.
When I was at Goldman, I watched people try to ‘climb the ladder’ by hovering around the biggest names in the room. They were desperate. People can smell desperation like a shark smells blood, and they will avoid it at all costs. Instead, shift your focus from 'Who can help me?' to 'Who can I actually learn from?' or 'Who might be a cool person to grab a beer with?' Genuine curiosity is the only currency that doesn't depreciate.
The ‘F1’ Strategy: How to Find Your Paddock
If you watch F1 like I do, you know the Paddock is where the real work happens. It’s not about the noise on the track; it’s about the engineers, the strategists, and the principals who understand how the machine actually runs.
Your network shouldn’t be a mile wide and an inch deep. You don’t need 5,000 LinkedIn connections who don’t know your last name. You need a Paddock. Build a core group of 10 to 15 people who are smarter than you, in different lanes than you, and who share your values. When you’re looking to scale your business or pivot your career, you don’t need a cold call; you need a text to someone in your Paddock.
Networking is Just ‘Showing Your Work’
I get asked all the time: 'Derek, how do I reach out to high-level people without being annoying?' It’s simple. Stop asking for their time and start showing them your output.
Don’t email a CEO asking to ‘pick their brain.’ That’s a tax on their time. Instead, send them something of value. 'Hey, I saw your recent post on [Topic]. I actually applied that logic to my portfolio/business last week and saw X result. Thought you’d find that interesting.'
See the difference? You’re not taking; you’re sharing. You’re proving that you’re someone worth paying attention to. When you provide value, networking becomes a natural byproduct of your competence, not a desperate hunt for favors.
The Power of the ‘Weak Tie’
Sociologist Mark Granovetter wrote the definitive paper on this decades ago, and it still holds up: your closest friends (your 'strong ties') usually know the same people you do. They move in the same circles. If you want a new job, a new partnership, or a new perspective, you need to tap into your 'weak ties'—those acquaintances, former classmates, or people you met at a conference once.
Don’t ignore the people you haven't spoken to in two years. Reconnect. It’s not awkward if you’re coming from a place of genuine interest. Send a quick note: 'I was just thinking about that project we worked on back in 2022 and realized you were right about X. How’s life?' No agenda. Just human connection.
Stop Being a Robot
We’re all tired of the LinkedIn templates. You know the ones: 'I am thrilled to announce...' or 'I’d love to connect and see how we can add value to each other.' If your networking outreach sounds like a bot wrote it, I’m hitting delete.
Be a person. Use your own voice. If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re direct, be direct. My best connections were formed over debates about whether Ferrari’s strategy team is actually cursed or just incompetent. People want to connect with humans, not professional avatars.
Practical Steps for Next Week
1. Audit your current network: Who do you actually enjoy talking to? Who pushes you to be better? Keep those people close. 2. Stop the ‘Coffee Chat’ trap: If you want to connect with someone, make the barrier to entry low. A 10-minute phone call is better than a 60-minute coffee that neither of you has time for. 3. Give before you get: Find one person in your network this week and send them an article, a resource, or a connection that might help them. Don't expect anything back.
Networking isn't about collecting business cards or gaming the algorithm. It’s about building a reputation for being the kind of person others want to be around. If you do the work and stay authentic, the opportunities will find you.
Stop overcomplicating it. Just be a decent human, be good at what you do, and show up.
Anyway, I’ve got a race to catch—there’s always something to learn from the track. If you’re struggling to figure out where your professional circle is falling short, shoot me a message. Let’s talk about it.