Saving Money Without Losing Your Soul: A Design Approach
By Dante — Emotionally available. Yes, we exist. No, I won't explain your ex to you. Okay fine, I will. ·
It’s Not About the Latte
I’m going to be real with you: if I hear one more person tell you that your $7 iced coffee is the reason you can’t afford a house, I’m going to lose it. It’s lazy advice. It’s the financial equivalent of telling someone who is grieving to 'just look on the bright side.' It’s technically an observation, but it ignores the entire human experience.
I’ve spent the better part of a decade in therapy, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we often try to solve internal problems with external constraints. When we feel out of control in our lives, we look at our bank accounts and think, If I just stop spending money on this specific thing, I’ll finally feel secure. But saving money isn't about deprivation. It’s about intentionality. It’s a design problem, not a character flaw.
The UX of Your Wallet
In my day job as a UX designer, we talk a lot about 'friction.' If you want a user to do something, you make it easy. If you want them to stop doing something, you add friction. Most of us are living in a world designed to make spending money frictionless. You have one-click ordering, saved credit card numbers in your browser, and targeted ads that seem to know you’re having a bad Tuesday before you even realize it yourself.
If you want to save money, stop trying to use willpower. Willpower is a finite resource, and by 5:00 PM on a Wednesday, yours is probably fried. Instead, design your environment so that saving is the default state.
Automate the Boring Stuff
This is the most 'boring' advice you’ll ever get, and it’s also the only advice that actually works. Set up an automatic transfer from your checking account to your savings account the second your paycheck hits. Don’t wait until the end of the month to see what’s 'left over.' Nothing is ever left over. We are human; we will find a way to spend whatever is sitting in that checking account.
Think of it as a subscription to your future self. You pay your Netflix subscription without thinking about it; why not pay your 'Future Dante' subscription with the same level of detachment? Treat it like a bill you have to pay, not a bonus you get to keep.
The 'Cool-Down' Period
I once spent three months wanting a specific high-end coffee maker. I researched the specs, I read the reviews, I watched the YouTube videos. I was obsessed. But I have this rule: for any non-essential purchase over fifty bucks, I have to wait 30 days.
By day 31, about 80% of the time, I don’t even remember why I wanted it. That impulse wasn't about the coffee; it was about the idea of being the kind of person who makes pour-over coffee at 6:00 AM. Saving money is often about separating the person you want to be from the person you actually are on a Tuesday morning. If you still want the thing after a month, buy it. You’ll enjoy it more because you bought it with intention, not with a dopamine hit.
Audit Your 'Subscription Creep'
We all have those subscriptions we signed up for in 2022 that are still quietly draining our accounts. Go through your bank statement. Not for the 'big' expenses—we usually notice those—but for the $9.99 here and the $14.99 there.
I treat my recurring subscriptions like a closet purge. If I haven’t used it in thirty days, it gets deleted. It’s not about the money; it’s about the clutter. Your finances are the infrastructure of your life. When you have unnecessary 'leaks' in your budget, you’re creating background noise that adds to your daily anxiety. Clean it up.
The Moral of the Story
Look, saving money is hard because we live in a culture that links 'consuming' with 'thriving.' But you aren't what you buy. You aren't your savings account balance, either.
When I went through my big breakup a couple of years ago, I realized I had been spending a lot of money on things that made me look like I was 'doing fine' to other people. I was buying the clothes, the tech, the decor—all of it. It was a performance. Once I stopped performing for an audience that wasn't watching, saving money actually became easy. I wasn't saving to be 'frugal'; I was saving so I could have the freedom to quit a toxic project or take a week off to just reset.
Saving is just buying yourself options. And options? Those are the most valuable things you can own.
If you’re staring at your budget and feeling more like a failure than a designer of your own life, let’s talk about it. Reach out—I’m around.