Stop Chasing Unicorns: Startup Advice for People Who Actually Want a Life
By Dante — Emotionally available. Yes, we exist. No, I won't explain your ex to you. Okay fine, I will. ·
Most of the startup advice you’ll find on LinkedIn reads like a fever dream curated by someone who hasn’t slept since 2019 and considers a lukewarm Soylent a gourmet meal. We’ve collectively decided that if your business isn’t a high-growth, venture-backed rocket ship destined for an IPO, you’re somehow failing.
I’m writing this from my desk in Chicago, looking at a city that actually functions in the real world. I’ve spent years in tech, and I’ve watched brilliant people torch their mental health in pursuit of "disruption" just to solve problems that don’t actually exist. If you’re thinking about starting something, let’s skip the hustle porn and talk about how to build a business without turning yourself into a cautionary tale.
Solving the Right Problem (Hint: It’s Not About You)
In UX design, we have this rule: the user is not you. When you’re building a startup, the ego is your greatest enemy. Most founders start with a solution they think is cool, then spend three years trying to convince the world they need it.
If you want to build something sustainable, start by finding a genuine friction point. Not a "wouldn't it be nice if" inconvenience, but a "this is physically painful and costs me money/time" problem. Ask yourself: Is this a vitamin or a painkiller? Vitamins are nice, but people stop taking them the second they get busy. Painkillers? They’ll pay for those through a subscription model every single month.
The MVP is Not a Minimum Viable Product
We need to retire the term MVP. It makes people think they need to launch a half-broken app to compete with Google. Instead, think of it as the Minimum Viable Value. What is the smallest, least complicated thing you can offer that actually makes someone’s life easier?
I worked with a founder once who spent six months perfecting an onboarding flow for an app that nobody had downloaded yet. That’s not a startup; that’s a hobby masquerading as a tax write-off. Build the core feature that solves the pain point. If it doesn’t work on a spreadsheet or a basic landing page, a fancy interface isn’t going to save it. Stop designing the UI and start validating the utility.
Your Runway is Also Your Mental Health
Everyone talks about runway in terms of cash flow—how many months until you’re broke. Nobody talks about the runway of your nervous system.
I’ve been in therapy since 27. It taught me that "hustle culture" is just a fancy way of saying "I’m avoiding processing my emotions by working 80 hours a week." If your startup strategy relies on you never taking a day off, your startup is fundamentally broken. You are the most important asset in your company, and if you burn out, the company dies with you.
Set hard boundaries early. If you don’t work weekends now, you won't work them when you grow. Treat your rest as a non-negotiable business expense. If you can’t make the business work on 40 hours a week, you don’t have a business model; you have a self-exploitation scheme.
The 'Exit' Myth
Every deck I see has an 'exit strategy' slide. It’s all about acquisitions and multipliers. It’s the business equivalent of planning your wedding before you’ve even had a first date.
There is nothing wrong with building a company that just… exists. A business that makes a profit, pays you a fair salary, and allows your employees to go home at 5:00 PM is a success. It doesn’t have to be a unicorn. In fact, most unicorns are just horses with a cone strapped to their heads, chasing a valuation that’s divorced from reality. Look at the businesses that have stood the test of time—they focus on customer retention and sustainable margins, not venture capital theater.
Radical Honesty with Yourself
Finally, check your motives. Are you starting this because you see a gap in the market, or because you want the validation that comes with being a 'Founder'? Being a founder is mostly just dealing with people and fixing things that break. It’s not a personality trait, and it’s not a substitute for a sense of self-worth.
If you can answer that honestly—and if you’re willing to walk away the moment the cost to your mental health outweighs the value you’re providing—you might actually succeed.
Starting a business is hard enough without adding a layer of performative misery on top of it. Build something that matters, keep your feet on the ground, and for the love of god, go get some sleep.
If you’re currently in the thick of a 'pivot' or just wondering if your business idea is actually a cry for help, let’s talk about it. I’m usually hanging around the office or the coffee shop down the street—leave me a note and we can break it down.