Stop Collecting Business Cards: How to Master High-Stakes Networking Instead
By Derek — Money isn't complicated. People just make it complicated. ·
Look, if I have to stand in one more hotel ballroom in Charlotte, nursing a lukewarm sparkling water while someone explains their ‘vision’ for a crypto-based pet supply company, I’m going to lose it.
We’ve been sold a lie that networking is a numbers game. You know the drill: ‘Get out there, shake hands, collect 50 business cards, send follow-up emails that nobody reads.’ If you’re playing that game, you’re not building a network; you’re building a graveyard of dead leads.
Money isn’t complicated. People just make it complicated, especially when they treat human connection like a transaction. Let’s clean this up.
Kill the ‘What Do You Do?’ Reflex
When you meet someone high-level, don’t start with ‘What do you do?’ That question is an immediate invitation for them to give you their elevator pitch—the same rehearsed script they give everyone else. It’s boring, and frankly, it’s a waste of time.
When I was at Goldman, the guys who actually moved the needle didn’t walk into a room looking for clients. They walked into a room looking for intel. Instead of ‘What do you do?’, try asking, ‘What’s the most interesting problem you’re trying to solve this quarter?’
See the difference? You’ve shifted the conversation from a resume review to a strategic dialogue. If they’re a founder, they’ll talk about a bottleneck. If they’re an investor, they’ll talk about a trend. Now, you’re not a stranger asking for a favor; you’re someone engaged in their world. That’s how you get remembered.
The ‘F1 Pit Crew’ Theory of Value
I’ve been watching the 2026 season unfold, and the parallels to business are inescapable. You watch a pit crew? They don’t just stand there waiting for the car to pull in. They are hyper-specialized, hyper-prepared, and they know exactly where their weight is needed to get the car back on the track in under two seconds.
Your network should be your pit crew. You don’t need 5,000 LinkedIn connections. You need a handful of people who are masters in their lanes. The biggest mistake people make is thinking they have to be the smartest person in the room. Wrong. You want to be the guy who knows who to call when the engine starts smoking.
My advice? Map your network. Who do you have for legal? Who’s your tax strategist? Who’s the person who can give you an honest gut-check on a bad idea? If you don’t have those people, your networking priority isn’t ‘meeting more people.’ It’s identifying the specific gaps in your own knowledge base and finding the experts who can fill them.
Stop Seeking Approval, Start Offering Leverage
If you approach networking with the energy of someone who needs something, people can smell it a mile away. It’s desperate, and desperation is the quickest way to kill a potential partnership.
High-value networking is about leverage. Before you reach out to someone you admire, ask yourself: ‘What is something I can give them?’ Maybe it’s an introduction to someone else they’ve been trying to reach. Maybe it’s a piece of data they don’t have access to. Maybe it’s just a fresh perspective on a problem their industry is facing.
When I left Goldman to start my practice, I didn’t ping everyone in my phone asking for business. I pinged people I respected and said, ‘I’m building this specific thing. I know you’ve dealt with this scaling issue before—what’s the one thing you wish you knew when you were at that stage?’ People love to give advice, and more importantly, they love to feel useful. By asking for their wisdom, you’re building a relationship. By offering them value, you’re cementing a partnership.
The Art of the ‘Slow Burn’ Follow-Up
We live in a world of instant gratification. You meet someone, you send a LinkedIn connection request, you wait for a response. If they don’t reply in 48 hours, you write them off.
That’s amateur hour. Relationships are like compounding interest—they don’t mean much in the short term, but if you nurture them over years, they become an unstoppable force.
If you have a great conversation with someone, don’t just send a generic ‘great meeting you’ email. Send them something related to what you discussed three weeks later. An article, a podcast episode, a quick note: ‘Saw this and thought of our conversation about X.’ It shows you were listening. It shows you’re thoughtful. It shows you’re a professional. Most people won’t do this, which is exactly why you should.
Get Off the Screen
I’m a digital guy—I run my firm from my laptop, I coach clients over Zoom—but there is no substitute for proximity. If you’re serious about someone, get them in a room. Or, if that’s not possible, pick up the phone. Not a text, not a DM. A phone call.
There is a massive amount of intimacy in the human voice that pixels just can’t replicate. In an era where everyone is hiding behind text-based AI bots and automated LinkedIn DMs, the person who is brave enough to actually have a conversation stands out like a Ferrari on a highway full of sedans.
Networking isn't about collecting ‘contacts.’ It’s about building a tribe that makes you sharper, faster, and more capable. So stop obsessing over your follower count and start focusing on the quality of your circle.
What’s the one relationship that changed your trajectory this year? Drop me a line—I’m always down to hear a good story. Let’s get to work.