Stop Networking Like a Corporate Sycophant: A Human Approach to Real Connections
By Diana — Burned out at 42. Rebuilt by 44. The cool aunt energy you need. ·
I remember the old me. The version of Diana who treated networking like a high-stakes scavenger hunt. I’d walk into a ballroom at the Palmer House, clutching a lukewarm glass of Chardonnay, scanning the room for the most 'valuable' person to conquer in the next ten minutes. I had a pitch, a business card that felt like a flimsy shield, and a heart rate that stayed in the cardio zone for three hours straight.
Then, I hit 42. My body checked out, my marriage imploded, and I realized that my entire professional network was a Rolodex of people who didn’t know who I was—and frankly, I didn’t know who I was either. I was performing success instead of living it.
It’s July 2026, and I’m sitting on my deck in Chicago, watching Paul try to convince his son that editing a documentary is actually 'fun.' Life is messy, it’s loud, and it’s real. My networking strategy has shifted entirely. I don't 'network' anymore; I cultivate community. And honestly? It’s far more effective.
Kill the Transactional Mindset
Most people view networking through the lens of a transaction: I give you my time and effort, you give me a lead, a job, or an introduction. This is exhausting. It’s why you feel drained after a coffee chat. If you enter every conversation looking for what you can get, you’re missing the point.
We are wired for connection, not exploitation. When I meet someone now, my goal isn't to see how they fit into my career trajectory. My goal is to find out what makes them tick. What’s the hardest problem they’re solving right now? What book are they reading? When you stop hunting for opportunities and start looking for humanity, people actually remember you. Being helpful is the best form of marketing there is.
The 'Cool Aunt' Rule of Engagement
Think about the cool aunt energy I’m always talking about. It’s grounded, it’s honest, and it’s devoid of desperation. When you reach out to someone, stop with the 'I’d love to pick your brain' nonsense. Nobody wants their brain picked; it sounds painful.
Instead, lead with specificity. If you want to connect with someone, do your homework. 'I saw your recent project on X, and I was fascinated by how you handled the Y constraint' is a thousand times better than 'I’m looking to transition into your industry.' One shows you pay attention; the other shows you’re looking for a handout. Give people a reason to engage that doesn't feel like a chore.
Audit Your 'Inner Circle' Inputs
After I left the corporate world, I did a brutal audit of my network. I realized I was spending 80% of my time with people who were invested in the same rat race I was trying to escape. If you want to grow, you need to diversify your inputs.
Don’t just network with people who do what you do. That’s an echo chamber, and it’s boring. Go find the teachers, the artists, the entrepreneurs, and the people who aren't afraid to tell you when you’re being full of it. I’ve found that my most valuable career insights lately haven't come from other VPs; they’ve come from a neighbor who runs a local bakery and a former client who pivoted into non-profit work. Different perspectives sharpen your own strategy.
Say No to the 'Coffee Grind'
There is a plague of 'let’s grab coffee' meetings that serve no purpose other than to make us feel busy. If you’re burned out, stop filling your calendar with aimless chats.
Be protective of your time. If a networking request comes your way, ask yourself: Is this someone I want to build a long-term relationship with, or is this just a box-checking exercise? If it’s the latter, practice the polite decline. 'I’m at capacity with my current projects, but I’d love to stay connected via LinkedIn' is a perfectly acceptable complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone your energy just because they sent a calendar invite.
Follow Up Like a Human, Not a CRM
We’ve all received those robotic follow-up emails sent exactly 24 hours after a meeting. They feel like they were written by a bot. Don’t be that person.
If you have a great conversation, send a note that references something specific you discussed. Did they mention a toddler who refuses to eat anything but goldfish crackers? Ask them how that’s going. Did they recommend a podcast? Tell them what you thought of the first episode. This cements the bond because it proves you were actually listening. People want to be seen, not tracked. When you treat them like people, the 'business' side of things typically solves itself.
Rebuilding yourself isn't just about what you do in the office or how many industry events you attend. It’s about the quality of the people you surround yourself with. Stop playing the game of corporate networking. It’s a rigged system anyway. Start building a village that supports the life you’re actually trying to lead.
How are you shifting your own approach to connection this summer? Drop me a line—I’m always in the mood for a good conversation that doesn't involve elevator pitches. You know where to find me.