Stop Networking Like a Robot: Authentic Networking Tips That Build Real Wealth
By Derek — Money isn't complicated. People just make it complicated. ·
Your Network is Your Net Worth—If You Aren’t Doing It Wrong
I’m going to be real with you: most people have no idea how to network. They treat it like a transaction at a vending machine. You shove a business card into someone’s hand, hope a job or a deal pops out, and then walk away feeling like you’ve 'worked the room.'
That isn't networking. That’s begging.
I spent five years at Goldman Sachs in New York before I moved back down to Charlotte to start my own practice. If there’s one thing I learned in the trenches of high finance, it’s that the people who actually move the needle—the ones closing the big deals—aren’t the ones with the slickest elevator pitches. They’re the ones who treat networking like human connection, not a numbers game. Money isn’t complicated; people just make it complicated by overthinking their 'approach.'
Stop 'Networking' and Start Connecting
When you approach someone with the mindset of 'what can I get from this person,' they can smell it. It’s like a cheap cologne; it’s overpowering and it turns people off immediately.
When I first started out, I thought I had to be the guy at the cocktail party with the perfectly rehearsed 30-second summary of my life. But I realized that the folks I actually wanted to work with—founders, high-net-worth individuals, people building legacies—don’t care about your resume. They care about your perspective.
If you want to build a real network, stop asking for favors and start being a resource. If you read an article that reminds you of someone you met three months ago, send it to them. No ask. Just, 'Hey, saw this, thought of you.' That builds more equity than a thousand LinkedIn connection requests with the default message.
The 'F1 Pit Crew' Rule of Networking
I’m a massive F1 fan. If you watch the races, you know that a pit crew doesn't win the race, but they can definitely lose it. They operate with absolute precision and timing. Networking is the same.
Don’t wait until you’re broke or desperate to reach out to your contacts. By then, it’s too late. If you only call people when you need something, you’re not a contact—you’re a nuisance.
Build your 'pit crew' during the quiet times. Check in on your circle when you’re doing well. Congratulate them on their wins. Be the person who celebrates others without expecting a return on investment within 24 hours. Wealth, both in cash and in social capital, is a long game. The compound interest of human relationships is the most underrated asset you have.
Kill the Small Talk
I hate small talk. 'Where are you from?' 'What do you do?' 'How’s the weather?' It’s mental clutter. If you find yourself in a conversation that feels like a loop of these questions, do yourself a favor: pivot.
Ask questions that actually tell you who a person is. Instead of asking what they do, ask them what they’re currently obsessed with. Or ask them what’s the biggest challenge they’re trying to solve in their business right now. You’ll be surprised at how quickly people open up when you give them permission to be human instead of just a job title.
Be the Connector, Not Just the Collection Agency
One of the best ways to grow your influence is to become a bridge. If you know someone who needs a developer and you know a great developer, connect them. When you facilitate a win for two other people, you become the most valuable person in the room.
You don’t need to be a billionaire to have a powerful network. You just need to be useful. If you’re the person who connects the dots, people will naturally want to keep you in their orbit. That’s how you get invited to the rooms that aren’t even on the public map.
The Reality Check: Consistency Matters
I know, I know. You’re busy. You’re building a business, you’re managing your life, maybe you’re trying to catch the latest practice session on Friday morning. But if you don't make time for the people, you aren't going to have the impact you want.
My advice? Dedicate two hours a week to 'relationship maintenance.' Not for new leads, but for deepening existing ones. Send an email, make a call, grab a coffee. Keep your network warm. If you treat your network like a neglected garden, it’s going to die. If you water it consistently, it becomes a garden that feeds you for years.
Final Thoughts
Networking isn't about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about being the most genuine, the most helpful, and the most consistent. Throw the scripts in the trash. Stop acting like you’re in a job interview every time you meet someone new. Just be a person who knows their stuff and actually cares about the people they encounter.
Money follows the value you provide, and your network is the multiplier for that value. Keep it simple. Keep it real. And for heaven’s sake, stop being a robot.
Got a networking hurdle you’re trying to clear, or want to talk about why McLaren is finally getting their act together this season? Hit me up. Let’s grab some time and talk shop.
Stay sharp,
Derek