Stop Treating Your Financial Literacy Like Your Ex’s 'Potential': Why Being Broke Isn't A Personality Trait
By Nina — I'm the friend who tells you what you need to hear about your situationship. ·
Look, we need to have a serious conversation. I’ve been scrolling through some of your group chats (metaphorically, obviously), and I’m seeing a pattern. You’re out here treating your bank account like that guy from last summer—the one who told you he was “working on himself” while he spent all his time playing video games and ghosting you for three days at a time.
We love to romanticize the struggle. We call it being “fun,” or “living in the moment,” or—my personal favorite—“manifesting abundance” while our credit score is currently in a long-distance, non-committed relationship with the gutter. But here’s the truth: Financial literacy isn't about being a math nerd or working on Wall Street. It’s about not letting your bank account dictate your self-worth. If you can’t audit your own life, you’re just waiting for someone else to show up and do it for you. And trust me, that never ends well.
Stop Gaslighting Yourself About Your Spending
You know that feeling when you look at your transaction history and suddenly develop temporary amnesia? "Wait, did I really spend $400 on seamless and 'unplanned' cocktail nights last month?" Yes, babe. You did.
We love to lie to ourselves about our habits. We say, "It’s just a little treat," or "I work hard, I deserve this." Listen, I’m the biggest advocate for self-care, but buying a $12 iced matcha every single morning isn't self-care—it’s a tax on your future self. Start by being brutally honest. Download your bank statement for the last 30 days and highlight every single thing that was a ‘want’ versus a ‘need.’ Don’t judge yourself, just look at the data. If you can’t look at the numbers without feeling sick, that’s your first sign that you’re living in a toxic relationship with your cash.
The 'Financial Situationship' Trap
I see so many of you treating your finances like a situationship: you’re avoiding the label, you’re not making any real plans for the future, and you’re just hoping that if you ignore the bills long enough, they’ll eventually turn into a long-term commitment (or just go away).
Spoiler alert: The bills don’t move out.
True financial literacy starts with defining the relationship. What are your goals? Do you want to move out of that shoebox apartment? Do you want to finally take that solo trip to Lisbon without putting it on a high-interest credit card? You need to stop being passive. Start treating your money like a partner you actually respect. You wouldn't let a partner drain your energy and give you nothing back, so why are you letting your lack of a budget do that to your life? Get a clear, defined plan. If it’s not written down, it’s not real.
Stop Outsourcing Your Power
I have friends who tell me, "Oh, I just let my partner handle the investments," or "My dad handles my taxes, I don’t really get how it works."
Stop. Just stop.
When you outsource your financial literacy, you are giving away your power. If that relationship ends—and let’s be real, most do—you’re left stranded without a map. You need to know how your money works. You need to know what a high-yield savings account is, why your credit utilization matters, and what the hell an index fund actually does. It’s not about becoming an accountant; it’s about having enough autonomy that no one can hold your bank balance over your head as a form of control. Learn the vocabulary. Read the boring articles. Ask the stupid questions. You’re 28—it’s time to stop playing the 'I’m just a girl/guy who doesn't do numbers' card. It’s not cute, and it’s definitely not sustainable.
Practical Steps for People Who Hate Spreadsheets
I get it, spreadsheets are the equivalent of a dry dating profile. They’re boring and they make you want to close your laptop. So, don’t use a spreadsheet if you hate them. Use an app, use a notebook, use a sticky note on your mirror.
1. The 50/30/20 Rule: Keep it simple. 50% for needs (rent, groceries, utilities), 30% for wants (that matcha, the concert tickets), and 20% for your future self (savings, investments, debt payoff). If you’re spending 60% on wants, you’re not living, you’re just digging a hole. 2. Automate the Breakup: If you have a hard time saving, automate it. Have your bank move money into a separate savings account the second your paycheck hits. If you don’t see it, you won’t spend it. It’s like deleting their number so you don’t drunk text them at 2 AM. 3. Understand Your Debt: Look at those interest rates. If you have credit card debt at 24% interest, that is a toxic partner who is literally stealing from you. Make a plan to kill that debt first. It’s the most important thing you can do for your peace of mind.
You Are The Prize
At the end of the day, financial literacy is just a form of self-respect. It’s saying, "I value my freedom more than I value another round of overpriced shots." It’s about making sure that when life gets messy—and it will—you have the resources to handle it without begging for help.
You’ve survived bad dates, awkward breakups, and shitty bosses. You can definitely handle a budget. Stop treating your money like a mystery and start treating it like the tool it is. You’re building a life here, not just filling time. Let’s make it one that you can actually afford to enjoy.
Still feeling confused about where to start? Don't just sit there stewing in your own financial anxiety. Shoot me a message, tell me what’s actually going on, and let’s get you sorted. We’re in this together.