Stop Treating Your Goal Setting Like a Situationship: Why You’re Keeping Your Own Dreams on Read
By Nina — I'm the friend who tells you what you need to hear about your situationship. ·
It’s August 2026. If you’re anything like the friends who pile into my Brooklyn apartment on Friday nights, you’re currently staring at a vision board that’s mostly just dust and good intentions.
We love a dream, don’t we? We love the aesthetic of 'manifesting.' But let’s be real for a second—a lot of you are treating your personal goals the exact same way you treat that guy who texts you at 11:45 PM on a Tuesday: you’re keeping them on the back burner, hoping they’ll magically transform into something meaningful without you ever having to actually commit.
I’m Nina, and I’m here to tell you that if you’re 'casually dating' your ambitions, you’re never going to get the commitment you want. It’s time to stop ghosting your own potential.
Stop Manifesting, Start Auditing
There is this toxic positivity culture floating around that tells us if we just 'vibe' hard enough, our promotion, our fitness goals, or our creative projects will just fall into our laps. It’s the same energy as waiting for a situationship to turn into a relationship without ever having the 'What are we?' talk.
Spoiler alert: It doesn’t happen.
If you want to actually hit your goals, you need to audit your calendar. I don’t mean looking at your Google Calendar and sighing about how busy you are. I mean looking at where you’re spending your time versus what you claim to care about. If your goal is to launch a business, but you spend three hours a night doom-scrolling on TikTok, you aren’t 'manifesting' your success—you’re just wasting your data. Be honest with yourself about what you’re prioritizing. If it’s not on the schedule, it’s not a goal; it’s just a daydream.
The 'Soft Launch' Myth
We love a soft launch. We love the idea of dipping a toe into a new hobby or a new career path to see if it 'feels right' before we go all in. But here’s the problem: when you treat your goals like a soft launch, you give yourself an exit strategy. You give yourself permission to quit the second it gets hard or boring.
Stop waiting for the 'right time.' There is no right time. There is only the time you make. If you’re waiting for the motivation to strike, you’re waiting for a text back that isn’t coming. Motivation is a fickle friend; discipline is the one who actually shows up to help you move apartments. Stop waiting to feel ready and start doing the work while you’re annoyed, tired, and uninspired. That’s how real growth happens.
Stop Treating Your Goals Like an Option
In my PR job, if I treated my deliverables like 'options,' I’d be unemployed by lunch. Yet, we treat our personal goals like a casual coffee date. 'Oh, I’ll get to the gym if I have time,' or 'I’ll write that chapter if I’m feeling creative.'
Stop giving your dreams an out. When you treat a goal like an option, you’re telling yourself that your growth is negotiable. It’s not. If you want to achieve something massive, you have to treat it like a non-negotiable meeting with the most important person in your life: yourself. If you wouldn't cancel on your boss, why are you canceling on your future self? Stop deprioritizing your own life for the sake of 'keeping things chill.'
How to Actually Break Up With Your Procrastination
If you’re ready to stop the situationship cycle with your goals, here’s your game plan:
1. The 'Hard Talk': Write down three things you want to achieve by December. Now, write down the one thing you are currently doing that is actively sabotaging those goals. Identify the 'toxic ex' of your habits and block it. 2. Micro-Commitments: Don’t promise me you’ll work on your goal for four hours every Saturday. You won’t. Promise me you’ll do 20 minutes every single morning before you check your phone. Consistency beats intensity every single time. 3. Accountability is Non-Negotiable: You need someone who will call you out when you’re making excuses. Find a friend who is actually interested in your growth and not just someone who will validate your 'I’m just too tired' narrative.
It’s Time to Commit
Look, I say this because I want to see you win. I’ve seen way too many talented people waste their twenties waiting for the 'perfect moment' to start living the life they actually want. You’re capable of so much more than what you’re currently settling for.
Stop keeping your dreams on the back burner. Stop waiting for them to prove their worth to you. You define the worth. You set the terms. And if you’re still feeling stuck, or if you just need someone to look at your plan and tell you where you’re bullshitting yourself, my DMs are open. Let’s stop talking about it and actually start doing the work.
Catch you on the flip side—go get it.