Stop Treating Your Interview Preparation Like a First Date: Why You Need to Vet Them Too
By Nina — I'm the friend who tells you what you need to hear about your situationship. ·
The 'Pick Me' Energy of Modern Job Hunting
I’m going to be real with you—because if I don’t, who will? I’ve been scrolling through my DMs lately, and I’m seeing the same patterns. You’re prepping for your next interview like you’re trying to convince someone to choose you at the end of a trashy reality dating show. You’re sweating the small talk, you’re curating your 'personality' to fit their vibe, and you’re absolutely terrified that if you show a single crack in your armor, they’ll ghost you.
Listen, I work in PR. I spend my days spinning narratives, but I draw the line at spinning your life for a company that wouldn’t blink twice before replacing you. When you walk into an interview—whether it’s on Zoom in your pajama bottoms or in a high-rise in Midtown—you need to stop acting like you’re auditioning for a role you aren’t sure you want. You are a professional, not a contestant.
Stop Over-Preparing for the 'Vibe Check'
You’re spending hours memorizing company values, aren’t you? You’re trying to memorize their mission statement so you can recite it back to them like a love letter. Stop it. If you’re spending 90% of your prep time trying to memorize how you can 'add value' to their bottom line, you’re already losing.
Instead, treat this like a vetting process. When I was dating, I spent way too long trying to figure out if the guy liked me. Once I hit 27, I switched the script: Do I like him? Does he treat the waiter well? Does he actually listen, or is he just waiting for his turn to talk? Apply that same energy to your interview. Are they asking you thoughtful questions? Are they transparent about why the role is open? If they’re cagey, that’s a red flag. Treat it like one.
The 'Tell Me About Yourself' Trap
Everyone hates this question, but here’s why: you’re trying to tell them a story they want to hear. Stop giving them your resume in narrative form. They’ve read the paper; they know where you went to school.
When they ask this, they’re really asking, 'Are you going to be a headache to work with, or are you going to make my life easier?' Give them the highlight reel of how your previous 'breakups' (aka previous jobs) led you to be the exact professional you are today. Keep it punchy. Keep it confident. If you sound like you’re reading a script, you sound like you’re lying. Own your trajectory, even the parts that were a mess. If you can’t talk about your career journey with conviction, why should they hire you?
Vetting Your Future 'Partner'
Here’s where we get down to business. If you’re asking, 'What’s the culture like here?' and they respond with, 'We’re like a family,' run. Fast. That’s corporate speak for 'We expect you to work 60 hours a week and guilt-trip you when you ask for a raise.'
Instead, ask the questions that actually matter. Try these on for size:
- 'Can you tell me about a time a project didn’t go as planned, and how the team handled the fallout?' (This tells you if they play the blame game or if they’re actual leaders.)
- 'How do you handle professional development when the team is at capacity?' (This tells you if they’re just blowing smoke about 'growth'.)
- 'What does success look like in this role in the first 90 days?' (This shows you’re results-oriented and not just looking for a paycheck.)
The Art of the 'No'
You need to be okay with walking away. I know, I know—the economy is weird, rent is high, and you have bills. I get it. But there is nothing more soul-crushing than accepting an offer because you were desperate, only to realize two weeks in that your manager is a narcissist and your team has zero boundaries.
When you go into an interview knowing that you have options—even if those options are just 'I’m happy where I am, and I’m looking for a step up, not a step sideways'—your entire energy changes. You stop acting like a supplicant and start acting like a consultant. That shift? That’s what gets you the offer, and more importantly, that’s what gets you the right offer.
You’re the Prize
Stop shrinking yourself to fit into a job description that was written by someone who probably doesn’t even know what your day-to-day looks like. You’ve got skills, you’ve got a personality, and you’ve got a track record. If they don’t see it, it’s not a failure on your part—it’s a mismatch.
Stop treating your career like a situationship where you’re just happy to be included. You’re building a life, not just collecting a W-2. If they’re not showing up for you in the interview, they sure as hell won’t show up for you during your annual review.
So, gear up. Do your homework, but don’t do their job for them. And if you’re feeling shaky before a big meeting, you know where to find me. Let’s talk through your strategy—and maybe vent about that recruiter who ghosted you last week. Hit me up in the DMs; I’ve got wine and plenty of unsolicited advice waiting for you.