Stop Treating Your Interview Preparation Like a Situationship: Why You’re Selling Yourself Short
By Nina — I'm the friend who tells you what you need to hear about your situationship. ·
Look, I love a good Brooklyn Sunday as much as anyone, but I’ve spent way too many brunches listening to friends spiral over “what-ifs” regarding their careers. Last week, my girl Sarah was agonizing over an upcoming interview, convinced that if she just ‘played it cool’ and didn’t seem too eager, they’d want her more.
I had to stop her mid-mimosa. Sarah, babe, this isn’t a date with a guy who has a ‘situationship’ tattoo on his soul. This is a job interview. Stop acting like you’re waiting for a text back when you should be owning the room.
Stop Playing Hard to Get with Your Value
When you approach an interview thinking you need to ‘play it cool’ to seem more attractive to a hiring manager, you are actively sabotaging yourself. You think you’re being mysterious or low-maintenance, but from their side? You just look like you don’t know what you bring to the table.
In my PR job, I see it all the time. Candidates come in terrified of appearing ‘too eager.’ Let me be real with you: employers want people who are eager. They want people who have done their homework and actually want to be there. Stop trying to ‘manifest’ a job offer by acting like you’re indifferent. If you want the seat, show them why you’re the only person who can keep it warm. You aren’t auditioning for their approval; you’re interviewing them to see if they’re worthy of your talent. Shift that power dynamic immediately.
The ‘Tell Me About Yourself’ Trap
Whenever someone asks me how to prep for the “Tell me about yourself” question, they usually give me a three-minute life story starting from their college internship. Stop. I don’t need your origin story, and neither does the hiring manager.
Think of this like a first date where you don’t spend the whole time talking about your ex. Keep it relevant to the present. Use the ‘Past-Present-Future’ formula: 1. Past: Give me one sentence on where you’ve been that is actually relevant to this role. 2. Present: What are you crushing right now? What is your current superpower? 3. Future: Why does this specific role fit into the trajectory of your professional evolution?
Keep it tight. Keep it professional. And for the love of everything, stop rambling because you’re nervous. Silence is not an enemy; it’s a power move.
Research Isn’t ‘Stalking,’ It’s Due Diligence
My friends who get ‘ghosted’ by recruiters are usually the ones who didn’t do the work. If you walk into an interview and you haven’t read their recent press releases, looked at their competitors, or stalked (in a professional way!) the person interviewing you on LinkedIn to see what they actually care about, you aren’t prepared.
Do you know what makes a candidate stand out? When they ask, ‘I saw that your agency recently pivoted your strategy for [Client X]. How did that impact your internal workflow?’ That isn’t just a question; that’s a conversation starter that proves you’re already part of the team. Stop going in blind and expecting a connection. You have to build the bridge before you walk across it.
The ‘Red Flag’ Check
In a situationship, you ignore the red flags because you’re blinded by the ‘potential.’ In a job interview, you have to be ruthless about spotting them. If the interviewer is dismissive, talks over you, or can’t articulate how their team succeeds, take note.
Stop romanticizing a company just because it looks good on a logo. During the interview, ask the hard questions: ‘What does success look like in this role in the first 90 days?’ or ‘What is the biggest challenge the team is currently facing?’ If they get annoyed by these questions, that’s your answer. You are interviewing them, too. If the vibes are off during the interview, they will be ten times worse once you’ve signed the offer letter.
Stop Waiting for the ‘Call’
After the interview, send the follow-up note. Keep it brief, mention one specific thing you discussed, and reiterate your interest. Then? You move on. Do not sit by your inbox refreshing your email like it’s a Tinder notification.
Apply to other things. Keep your momentum going. When you treat your career search like a desperate search for validation, you lose your edge. When you treat it like a strategic business move where you are the CEO of your own talent, you become impossible to ignore.
At the end of the day, you have a lot to offer, but you have to be the one to believe it first. Stop settling for the ‘maybe’ and start positioning yourself for the ‘yes.’
Look, I know this is a lot to process, and sometimes it’s easier to just vent over a glass of wine than to actually tighten up your game. I get it. But you’re better than the situationship cycle. If you’re stuck on how to frame your experience or you’re just feeling like you need a reality check before your next big interview, hit me up. Let’s grab a coffee and get your narrative straight. What’s holding you back?