Stop Treating Your Side Hustle Ideas Like a 'Fix' for Your Love Life
By Nina — I'm the friend who tells you what you need to hear about your situationship. ·
Look, I love a good Brooklyn flea market find as much as the next person, but let’s have a real talk about this ‘side hustle’ obsession. I get it—the rent in this city is a hate crime, and your bank account is looking like that guy who texts you ‘u up’ at 2 AM: barely there, disappointing, and honestly, kind of disrespectful to your time.
But here’s the thing I see every day: you’re trying to build a business with the same chaotic, desperate energy you bring to your situationships. You’re looking for a quick fix, a ‘potential’ payout, or just something to keep you busy so you don’t have to look at your actual life. Newsflash: a side hustle is a business, not a personality trait or a distraction from your loneliness. If you want to make actual money, you have to stop treating your bank account like a ‘maybe someday’ vibe.
Stop Monetizing Your Trauma (And Your Hobbies)
I’m going to be the friend who tells you this: just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should make it a side hustle. If you love baking, don’t turn it into a catering gig that makes you hate your oven. If you’re a great listener, don’t start a life-coaching business unless you’re actually ready to hold space for people without getting burnt out.
The best side hustles are the ones that are boring. I’m serious. The most lucrative side hustles aren't the ones you post on your aesthetic Instagram story; they’re the ones that solve a specific, annoying problem for someone else. Think about what people in your network complain about constantly. Do they hate formatting spreadsheets? Are they terrified of basic SEO? Do they need someone to manage their email inbox because they’re drowning in ‘per my last email’ replies? That is where the money is. It’s not sexy, but it pays the Con Ed bill.
The ‘Situationship’ Test for Your Business Model
Before you commit to a new side hustle, run it through the test I use for every guy I meet. If you’re doing the most work and seeing the least return, you’re not an entrepreneur—you’re a doormat.
Ask yourself: 1. Am I doing this because I’m desperate for extra cash, or because I’ve mapped out a service people are actually willing to pay for? 2. Am I putting in more effort than I’m getting out? 3. Is this ‘hustle’ going to leave me feeling drained, or does it actually move the needle on my financial goals?
If you don’t have a clear answer, you’re just ‘dating’ a business idea that’s going to ghost you when things get hard. Stop being a simp for your own side hustle. If it doesn't scale or if it requires you to be available 24/7 for peanuts, cut it loose. You have standards, remember?
Practical Ways to Actually Get Paid
If you’re ready to stop playing games and start stacking bread, focus on skills that leverage your existing 9-to-5 experience without making you work a double shift.
- The ‘Bridge’ Service: Take what you do for your day job and offer it as a consultant to smaller companies. If you work in PR, small local businesses are dying for someone to handle their press releases or social media strategy. Don’t do it for free. Charge a retainer. If they can’t pay, they aren’t your client.
- The ‘Productized’ Skill: Can you create a template, a guide, or a workflow that saves someone time? People pay for shortcuts. If you’ve spent three years perfecting a Notion system for project management, sell the template. It’s passive, it’s scalable, and it doesn't require you to be ‘on’ for a client every single night.
- The High-Ticket Audit: If you’re an expert in something—anything—offer one-time audits. Don’t commit to long-term management. Offer a 60-minute deep dive where you look at their process and tell them exactly how to fix it. Charge a premium for the expertise, not the hours.
Protect Your Peace (and Your Hourly Rate)
I hear a lot of people saying they ‘don’t have time’ to build a side hustle. Usually, what they mean is they don’t want to give up their doom-scrolling or their Friday nights in front of Netflix. And honestly? Valid. You’re allowed to rest. But if you’re going to complain about your finances, you need to be honest about where your time is actually going.
You don’t need to hustle 24/7. In fact, if you’re working a 9-to-5 and then working until midnight every day, you’re just speeding toward burnout, and I’m going to be the first one to tell you to stop. Set boundaries. If you only have four hours on a Saturday, that’s your window. Work within it, or don’t work at all.
Building a side hustle shouldn’t feel like a toxic relationship where you’re constantly checking your phone to see if a payment cleared. It should feel like a strategic partnership with your future self. Treat your bank account with the respect you expect from your partner, and keep the ‘hustle’ strictly professional.
So, what’s the move? Are you ready to stop romanticizing the struggle and actually get paid for your brain? Drop a comment or slide into my DMs—let’s talk about which one of your ‘ideas’ is actually worth the investment.