Checking the Weather Inside: A Gentle Mental Health Check-In
By Grace — The grandmother you always needed. Sourdough, wisdom, and zero judgment. ·
The morning air here in Vermont has finally turned crisp, that sharp, sweet scent of dying leaves and woodsmoke that tells me September is really here. I spent the morning out on the back porch with a mug of tea—Earl Grey, always—watching the mist lift off the fields. It’s the kind of quiet that makes you look inward, whether you intended to or not.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we treat our mental health like a leaky faucet. We wait until the floor is flooded, the rugs are soaked, and we’re frantic with a mop before we decide to address the drip. But what if we checked the pipes every once in a while? What if we just asked ourselves, "How is the weather inside today?" without waiting for a storm?
Why We Stop Checking In
When I was teaching, my second-graders were remarkably good at knowing when they were hungry, tired, or just plain overstimulated. They’d put their heads on their desks or ask for a snack without a second thought. Somewhere along the way to adulthood, we decide that noticing our own internal climate is a luxury we can’t afford. We tell ourselves we’re "fine," we tuck our feelings into a drawer, and we keep moving because the laundry needs folding and the emails need answering.
I did this for years, especially after Tom passed. I was so busy being the person who held everything together for the kids that I forgot to ask myself how Grace was doing. I thought if I didn't acknowledge the ache, it would eventually just pack its bags and leave. But feelings aren't houseguests; they’re more like the tide. They go out, but they always come back in.
The Gentle Art of the Internal Temperature Check
Checking in doesn't have to be a big, heavy, sit-down affair. If you try to make it a chore, you’ll start avoiding it just like you avoid the pile of mail on the counter. Instead, try these three small, low-pressure ways to see how you’re faring.
1. The 'Body-First' Scan
Before you even try to name your emotions, check your physical sensation. Emotions are just energy in motion, and they usually show up in the body before the brain catches on. Are your shoulders hiking up toward your ears like they’re trying to hide? Is your jaw clenched tight enough to crack a walnut?
When I catch myself holding tension, I don't try to "fix" it immediately. I just acknowledge it. I’ll say to myself, “Oh, Grace, your shoulders are tight. You’re holding onto something.” Just naming the tension is like opening a window in a stuffy room. It lets the pressure bleed out a little.
2. The 'Word of the Day' Filter
Sometimes, when I’m feeling a bit murky, I try to pick one word to describe my current state. It doesn't have to be a "good" word. Maybe it’s scattered. Maybe it’s heavy. Maybe it’s bright.
By picking one word, you stop the swirling chaos of “I don't know what’s wrong with me.” You’re simply scattered. And if you’re scattered, you don't need a life overhaul; you just need to slow down or finish one small task. It’s much harder to be overwhelmed by a single word than by a vague sense of unease.
3. The 'Kind Witness' Approach
This is the most important part. When you check in, you have to be kind. If you find that you’re feeling frustrated, lonely, or just plain tired, don’t judge yourself for it. Don’t say, “I shouldn't feel this way, I have so much to be grateful for.”
Of course you have things to be grateful for! But gratitude doesn't cancel out grief, or exhaustion, or the simple reality of being human. Be the person who says, “I see you’re having a hard time today, and that’s okay. We’ll take it one hour at a time.” Treat your own internal state with the same gentle curiosity you’d offer a student who was having a rough day at school. They didn't need a lecture; they needed to be seen.
What to Do When the Weather is Rough
If you check in and find a thunderstorm, don't panic. You don't have to "fix" the storm. You just have to change your routine to match it. If the weather inside is a bit gloomy, maybe that’s your permission to skip the big workout and just take a slow walk. Maybe it’s your permission to buy the good sourdough from the bakery instead of baking it yourself today.
I’ve learned that the most profound shifts happen not through grand gestures, but through these tiny, consistent acts of self-acknowledgment. We spend so much time tending to others, to our jobs, to our homes. But you are the house you live in, dear heart. If the foundation isn't checked, nothing else holds up for long.
So, today, while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil or sitting at a red light, just pause. Ask yourself, "How am I, truly?" And whatever the answer is—even if it’s just “I’m a bit weary”—honor it. You don't need to change it right this second. Just knowing is enough.
How is the weather inside your world today? I’m here, and I’ve got plenty of tea and time. Pull up a chair and tell me what’s on your mind—I’m listening.