Networking Tips for the Second Act: Why Your Next Opportunity Isn't on LinkedIn
By Sam — Divorced at 34. Rebuilt everything. Here to tell you the second chapter is better. ·
The Myth of the Cold Connection
When I was a marketing director in Atlanta, 'networking' felt like a contact sport. It was all embossed business cards, stiff drinks at hotel bars, and the desperate, performative dance of trying to find out who could help me climb one rung higher on a ladder I didn’t even like.
Then, at 34, my life fell apart. The divorce hit, the corporate career felt like a costume that no longer fit, and I found myself in Portland with a toddler, a senior dog named Frank, and a realization that I had spent years ‘networking’ with people I didn't actually like to get jobs I didn't actually want.
I’ve spent the last four years rebuilding. And in this second chapter, I’ve learned that the best networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about cultivating resonance. If you’re looking to pivot—whether that’s a career change, a move to a new city, or just a shift in how you want to spend your days—stop looking for 'connections' and start looking for your people. Here is how I actually do it.
Stop Being a Resume, Start Being a Human
When I consult for startups now, I don't look at LinkedIn profiles first. I look for the people who are curious.
Most people approach networking like they are filling out an application. They lead with their title, their years of experience, and their 'value proposition.' It’s boring. When you’re in the middle of a life reset, nobody cares about your past title as much as they care about your current perspective.
Instead of a pitch, lead with a question. If you’re at an event—or just chatting with a parent at Lily’s soccer practice—ask, 'What’s a problem you’re working on right now that’s actually interesting?' It shifts the dynamic from a transaction to a collaboration. People love to talk about what they are solving. If you listen, you become the person who understands their world, not just another person asking for a favor.
The 'Frank' Principle: Go Where You Are Authentic
Frank, my senior rescue dog, is the best networker I know. He doesn't walk into a park trying to impress the Golden Retrievers with his pedigree. He just sniffs around, finds the dogs he likes, and ignores the ones he doesn’t.
I started taking my own advice. I stopped going to industry 'mixers' where everyone is trying to sell something. I started going to workshops, local trail groups, and volunteer events. When you put yourself in environments where you are genuinely interested in the activity, the networking happens as a byproduct.
If you want to move into a new industry, don't hunt for a job description. Find a project. Volunteer your skills for a weekend hackathon or a local non-profit. When people see you in your element—actually doing the work—they don't need a resume. They see the evidence of your capability. That is the highest form of trust.
The Power of the 'Third-Degree' Connection
After my divorce, I was terrified to reach out to old colleagues. I felt like I had ‘failed’ the corporate game. But I learned that people love to help, provided you aren't asking them for a job.
I started asking for 'intellectual curiosity' meetings. I’d reach out to someone I respected and say, 'I’m fascinated by how your company is handling X, and I’m trying to learn more about the space. Could I buy you a coffee for 20 minutes to pick your brain?'
Notice what’s missing? I didn’t ask for a referral. I didn’t ask for a lead. I asked for their perspective. Nine times out of ten, that conversation leads to a 'You know, you should talk to so-and-so' or 'We’re actually looking for someone with your specific experience.' When you take the pressure off the interaction, you leave space for the relationship to breathe.
Be the Connector, Not the Collector
If you want to build a powerful network, become the person who connects others. My favorite thing to do now is send an email that says, 'Hey, I was talking to Sarah about X, and I know you’re working on Y—you two should definitely grab a coffee.'
When you become a hub, you stay relevant. You don't have to worry about who owes you a favor because you aren't keeping score. You’re building a community of people you genuinely want to see succeed. And in the second chapter, when you’re building something of your own, that community is the only safety net that actually matters.
Your Second Chapter Starts with a Choice
Networking is just another word for relationship building. Don’t let the corporate jargon make it feel cold or transactional. You are at a point in your life where you get to choose who you interact with and what you contribute to the world.
Rebuilding isn't just about your finances or your career; it’s about the people you surround yourself with as you grow. So, go out there, be curious, ask the hard questions, and stop worrying about your business cards. You are the product, and if you’re authentic, the right people will find you.
What’s one group or project you’ve been dying to join but haven't yet? Let’s talk about it—drop a comment below or shoot me a message. I’d love to hear what you’re building.