Why Consistency Isn't About Willpower: The Science of Showing Up for Yourself
By Remi — You don't need a meal plan. You need someone who actually explains why. ·
It’s Not a Character Flaw
I’ve lost count of how many people have sat across from me in my Toronto office, head in their hands, telling me they just don’t have the “discipline” to stay consistent. They look at me like they’re waiting for me to hand them a rigid, color-coded meal plan or a 4:00 AM alarm clock schedule.
Here’s the thing: If you’re struggling to stay consistent, it’s not because you’re lazy. It’s not because you lack willpower. It’s because you’re trying to white-knuckle your way through a strategy that fundamentally ignores how your brain—and your life—actually works.
Growing up in a Haitian-Canadian home, food was the language of love. It wasn’t about macros; it was about community, flavor, and showing up for the people you care about. When I started my master’s in sports nutrition, I realized that the fitness industry had turned that same “love” into a chore. We were taught that consistency meant suffering. Science tells us the exact opposite. Consistency is actually about minimizing friction, not maximizing pain.
The “All-or-Nothing” Trap
We love to romanticize the “grind.” We think consistency looks like hitting the gym six days a week for two hours, eating nothing but grilled chicken and steamed broccoli, and never missing a beat. But biology doesn’t care about your perfectionism.
When you approach fitness with an “all-or-nothing” mindset, you are essentially setting a trap for your future self. The moment you miss a workout because you’re tired or have a deadline, your brain interprets that as a “failure.” And what do we do when we feel like we’ve failed? We tend to abandon the ship entirely.
Instead of aiming for 100%, aim for 80%. If you have a busy week at work, don’t try to force five 60-minute lifting sessions. Do three 20-minute sessions. Doing something is the signal you send to your brain that you are still the type of person who values their health. That signal is more important than the intensity of the workout itself.
Friction Management: The Secret Sauce
In physics, friction is the force that resists motion. In your life, friction is the reason you don’t go for that run after work.
If you want to stay consistent, stop trying to “will” yourself into doing hard things and start making those things easier to initiate. If you want to eat better, don’t spend three hours on a Sunday prepping twelve identical meals that you’ll be sick of by Wednesday. That’s high friction. Instead, keep your fridge stocked with “assembly components”—pre-cooked grains, washed greens, a quality protein, and a sauce that makes you actually want to eat the food.
If you want to train consistently, put your gear out the night before. If you’re headed to the gym after work, pack your bag and put it on the passenger seat of your car. You aren't “cheating” by making it easy; you’re being smart. You’re lowering the activation energy required to get started.
Redefining Recovery as Part of the Work
One of the biggest reasons people fall off the wagon is burnout. We treat our bodies like machines that should run at 100% efficiency at all times. But you aren’t a machine; you’re a biological organism.
When I work with amateur athletes, I often have to convince them that their rest days are just as important as their training days. If you’re consistently “tired and sore,” you aren’t building consistency—you’re building a countdown to an injury or a mental breakdown.
True consistency is sustainable. It’s the ability to wake up on a Tuesday morning and not dread your routine. If you find yourself dreading your workouts, it’s not a lack of grit—it’s a sign that the dosage is wrong. Adjust the intensity. Change the modality. Find a way to move that feels like a relief, not a tax.
The “Why” Behind the Habit
Finally, we have to talk about your “why.” If you’re showing up to the gym or eating a salad just to look a certain way for an event in three months, you will quit the second life gets difficult.
But if you’re showing up because you want to have the energy to play with your kids, or because you want to keep your joints healthy for the next 40 years, that’s a tether that holds. I work with people who want to feel capable, not just look “fit.” When your fitness is tied to your identity and your capacity to engage with the world, consistency becomes a natural byproduct. You don’t have to force yourself to brush your teeth, right? You do it because you want to keep your teeth. View your movement and nutrition the same way.
Stop waiting for the “perfect time” to start being consistent. The perfect time doesn’t exist. There is only the messy, unpredictable, beautiful life you have right now. Start there. Adjust the friction, ditch the perfectionism, and focus on the long game.
What’s one small, low-friction change you can make to your routine this week to keep the momentum going? I’d love to hear how you’re keeping it real. Shoot me a message or leave a comment—let’s talk it through.