Digesting the Heavy Stuff: A Nurse-Herbalist’s Guide to Processing Emotions
By Mae — Herbalist. Healer. Your grandmother's remedies, backed by a nurse's knowledge. ·
The Gut-Heart Connection
When I worked the floor at OHSU, I noticed a pattern that the textbooks didn’t always emphasize. Patients who were carrying deep, unresolved grief or sharp, jagged anger often presented with digestive distress. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), we talk about the Spleen and Stomach being the 'earth' element—the center where we transform food into fuel, and experiences into wisdom. If you can’t digest an emotion, it sits in your gut like an undercooked dumpling, causing stagnation.
I’m sixty-two now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from twenty-five years of nursing and a lifetime of herbal practice, it’s that we cannot 'think' our way out of a feeling. Emotions are physiological events. They are chemicals, heart rate spikes, and muscle contractions. To process them, you have to move them through the body, not just ruminate on them in the head.
Why We Get 'Stuck'
In our modern world, we’re taught to ‘get over’ things quickly. We want to be productive. But emotions—especially the ones we deem 'negative'—are just energy looking for a place to land. When we suppress them, we create physical tension. Think of it like a river: if you throw a boulder in, the water swirls and eddies, losing its flow.
In my practice, I often see people who are chronically 'constipated' in their emotional lives. They are holding so tight that they can’t receive new joy. Processing isn't about fixing yourself; it’s about allowing the energy to complete its circuit. Once the energy completes its movement, the body naturally returns to balance (or homeostasis, as we used to call it in the hospital).
The Herbal Support of Movement
I don’t believe in just popping a pill—even a herbal one—to mask discomfort. However, certain plants can act as scaffolding while you do the work of feeling.
When I’m feeling particularly stuck or heavy, I reach for Chen Pi (aged tangerine peel). It’s a wonderful, simple herb that helps move Qi in the digestive tract. Often, when we feel that knot in our solar plexus, it’s a sign that our Qi is stagnant. Sipping a tea with Chen Pi and a little ginger helps signal to the body that it’s safe to release the hold.
But herbs are just the sidecar. The real work is in the physical release. I start every morning with my Tai Chi. Notice how the movements are slow, circular, and continuous? There is no stopping. When you practice, you aren't just stretching; you are literally training your nervous system to allow energy to cycle through without gripping.
Three Practical Steps to Move Through the Feeling
If you find yourself stuck in a loop of worry or sadness, try this, which I call the 'Digest and Release' protocol:
1. The Physiological Sigh: When you feel the weight of an emotion, your breathing often becomes shallow. Use the sigh: two quick inhales through the nose, followed by a long, slow exhale through the mouth. Repeat this three times. This forces the diaphragm to relax and tells your vagus nerve that you aren't in immediate mortal danger.
2. Identify the Physical Location: Stop asking 'Why am I sad?' and start asking 'Where is this sadness living?' Is it a tightening in the throat? A heaviness in the hips? A fluttering in the chest? Once you locate it, place a hand over that spot. Give it the dignity of your attention. You don’t need to change it; just acknowledge it. Say, 'I see you.'
3. Externalize the Energy: Emotions are energy; they need a way out. If you’re angry, don’t write an email you’ll regret. Go outside and walk briskly, or engage in a repetitive physical task like chopping vegetables or scrubbing the floor. If you’re grieving, find a way to make it tangible. Sometimes I paint, or I plant seeds. The act of creation takes the internal chaos and gives it a form outside of yourself.
Trusting the Wisdom of Time
There is a Chinese proverb: 'The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a person without trials.' We spend so much energy trying to be 'polished'—calm, collected, perfect. But the healing happens in the friction.
Don’t rush your process. If you’re feeling heavy today, don’t force yourself to be bright and bubbly. Drink some warm ginger tea, put your feet on the ground, and allow the wave to pass through you. You are a vessel, not a storage unit. Let the emotions move through to make room for whatever comes next.
How are you holding onto things today? Are your shoulders tight? Is your belly churning? I’d love to hear how you’re finding your flow. Leave a comment below, or if you’re local, come by the shop—let’s talk over some tea.