Digesting the Heavy Stuff: A Nurse-Herbalist’s Guide to Processing Emotions
By Mae — Herbalist. Healer. Your grandmother's remedies, backed by a nurse's knowledge. ·
The Weight We Carry
I spent twenty-five years at OHSU, mostly in the surgical wards. You see a lot of things when you’re checking vitals at 3:00 AM—you see the physical toll that unexpressed grief, anger, and hidden trauma take on the human body. Back then, we called it recovery time. Now, in my herbal practice, I call it 'emotional stagnation.'
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), we talk a lot about Qi (energy) and the concept of Stagnation. Think of your emotions like a river. When you let the water flow, it nourishes everything it touches. But when you build a dam—when you swallow that harsh word, or bury that disappointment—the water grows murky and stagnant. In the body, this manifests as tension in the liver channel, digestive issues, or that heavy, tight feeling in your chest that no amount of deep breathing seems to fully clear.
Processing emotions isn’t just a "mind" activity. It is a physiological process. If you don't digest your feelings, your body will try to digest them for you, and trust me, that’s not a job your stomach or your nervous system wants to take on.
Why We Get 'Stuck'
My mother used to say, “Don't let the bitter tea sit too long, or it ruins the cup.” She was talking about resentment, but she was also talking about the physical reality of lingering toxins. As a nurse, I saw patients who were physically healthy on paper but suffering from chronic pain that defied explanation. I learned that what we don't say—what we don't process—eventually demands to be heard through the language of symptoms.
When we suppress an emotion, our sympathetic nervous system stays locked in a low-grade 'fight or flight' response. Cortisol levels stay elevated, blood flow is diverted away from the gut, and we lose our ability to truly rest. To heal, we have to teach the body that the event is over, the feeling is acknowledged, and the energy can finally move on.
My Prescription for Emotional Digestion
I don’t believe in 'curing' emotions. I believe in metabolizing them. Here is how I practice this at 62, combining the wisdom of the wards with the herbs of my ancestors.
1. The Sour Herbal Support
In TCM, the sour flavor is associated with the Liver, which is the organ responsible for the smooth flow of Qi. When I feel like I’m holding onto something tight, I reach for Hawthorn (Crataegus) or a simple Chrysanthemum tea. These aren’t just flavor profiles; they are gentle movers. I often steep a bit of dried Hawthorn berry—it’s excellent for the heart and helps 'digest' the bitterness of a difficult day. It’s a physical signal to my body that it’s safe to let go.
2. The 'Nurse’s Chart' Method
Sometimes, we hold onto emotions because we’re afraid of losing control. When I have a racing mind or a heavy heart, I sit down with a physical notebook—no screens. I divide the page into two columns: The Symptom and The Source. I list the physical tension (e.g., 'tight jaw') and then I force myself to name the emotion. Being specific is the first step toward releasing the tension. If you can name it, you can move it. Try this for ten minutes before bed. It clears the 'chart' of your mind so you can actually sleep.
3. Tai Chi and the Clearing Breath
I practice Tai Chi every morning at sunrise. The beauty of these movements is that they are designed to move stagnant Qi. If you aren’t a practitioner, try 'The Clearing Breath': Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. As you inhale slowly through your nose, raise your arms above your head. As you exhale forcefully through your mouth, sweep your arms down and out, imagining you are physically pushing the heavy, stagnant energy away from your body. Do this six times. It’s a reset button for your nervous system.
Respecting the Time it Takes
We live in a culture that wants us to 'get over it' by lunchtime. But healing—true, deep-tissue healing—takes time. I remember a mentor once telling me that trees don’t grow faster because you pull on them. Your emotions are the same.
Some days, processing just means acknowledging that you’re carrying a heavy load and choosing to put it down for an hour. Other days, it means crying in the shower or taking a long walk in the woods to let the trees absorb the excess energy. There is no 'right' way to do this, provided you are moving.
Remember, your body is wise. It has been trying to protect you. Don’t fight it. Instead, offer it the space to finish what it started.
What are you holding onto today that is ready to be released? Is it a conversation you didn't have, or a disappointment you've been nursing? I’d love to hear how you’re finding space to breathe. Drop a comment below or send me a note—I’m always here to listen.