Digesting the Heavy Stuff: A Nurse’s Guide to Processing Emotions
By Mae — Herbalist. Healer. Your grandmother's remedies, backed by a nurse's knowledge. ·
The Internal Alchemy of Feeling
In my twenty-five years at OHSU, I learned that the human body keeps the score. I’ve seen patients come into the ER with physical symptoms that had no clear biological origin—a tightness in the chest, a persistent ache in the stomach, a heaviness in the limbs—that were actually manifestations of something much deeper. We weren't just treating a laceration or a fever; we were witnessing a soul trying to find room to breathe.
When I shifted into my herbal practice, I found my perspective didn't change; it just deepened. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), we talk about Qi—the life force—stagnating when we don't process our emotions. Imagine your emotions are like a meal. If you swallow it whole without chewing, you’re going to have indigestion. If you hold onto grief, anger, or anxiety without 'digesting' it, that energy gets stuck in the meridians, manifesting as physical heat, stagnation, or blockages. Processing emotions isn't a luxury; it’s a vital organ function, just like digestion.
Why We 'Hold' Instead of 'Release'
Growing up in a household that immigrated from Guangdong, I learned early on that stoicism was a survival skill. “Keep your head down, work hard, don’t make waves.” We were taught to tuck our feelings away into a small, tidy box. As a nurse, the culture was similar: you compartmentalize to get through the shift. You save the feelings for later, only the 'later' never really arrives.
But here is the truth I’ve learned at sixty-two: your body is not a storage unit. When you suppress, you aren’t getting rid of the emotion; you’re just burying it in the garden of your nervous system. Eventually, the weeds grow through the surface. Processing is the act of consciously moving that energy from a state of 'stuck' to a state of 'flow.'
The Physicality of Processing: A Practical Framework
I always tell my students that you cannot think your way out of a feeling. You have to move it through the body. Here is how I approach this in my own life, combining what I learned in the hospital with the ancient wisdom of my ancestors.
1. The 'Tea and Transcription' Method
Before you try to 'fix' a feeling, you have to name it. I recommend brewing a cup of Chrysanthemum or Lemon Balm tea—something that calms the liver and soothes the spirit. Sit with your notebook. Don't write a narrative; write the raw, jagged edges. "I feel angry because..." or "I feel small when..." Write until the ink runs dry, or until the physical sensation in your body shifts. Sometimes, the act of putting the feeling on paper acts as a release valve for the brain.
2. Move the Qi with Tai Chi or Walking
When I’m holding onto a difficult emotion, I don’t sit in a dark room. I head to the park for Tai Chi. The movements are designed to move stagnant energy. If you don’t practice Tai Chi, simply go for a walk—but do it with intention. Walk with the sole purpose of shaking off the energy. Let your shoulders drop. Pay attention to your feet hitting the earth. Visualize the emotion leaving your body with every exhale. You are literally walking the feeling out of your system.
3. Herbal Allies for Emotional Release
We often look to herbs for physical ailments, but they are profound allies for the heart. Rose petal tea is wonderful for cooling the heart’s heat and easing the sting of a broken heart or hurt feelings. Hawthorn berry is another favorite of mine; in TCM, we use it to support circulation, but it is also traditionally used to 'clear the heart' of grief and resentment. Brew a weak infusion and sip it slowly throughout the afternoon. It reminds the body that it is safe to let go.
Honoring the Season of Your Feelings
We live in a culture that is obsessed with being 'happy' or 'balanced' all the time. But nature doesn't work that way. We have four seasons for a reason. Sometimes you are in the winter of grief, where you need to go dormant and rest. Sometimes you are in the spring of anger, where things need to be cleared out so new growth can happen.
Stop trying to rush your emotional cycle. If you are sad, be sad. If you are angry, acknowledge the red heat of it without acting on it impulsively. When we allow an emotion to have its full season, it naturally wanes. It’s when we try to force an eternal summer that we start to burn out.
I’ve spent a lifetime watching people try to outrun their own human experience. Please, don’t be one of them. Your emotions are not your enemies; they are messengers. They are telling you where you need attention, where you need boundaries, and where you need love. Give them a seat at the table, let them speak, and then—when they are ready—let them go.
How are you feeling today? Truly? I’d love for you to drop a comment below or send me a note. Let’s talk about what you’re carrying and how we can best support your spirit this week.