The Alchemy of Feelings: How to Process Emotions Without Getting Stuck
By Mae — Herbalist. Healer. Your grandmother's remedies, backed by a nurse's knowledge. ·
It’s September here in Portland, and the light is starting to shift. That low, golden angle of the sun has a way of catching the dust motes in my study and making everything feel a bit more contemplative. In my years at OHSU, I saw a lot of patients who were physically ill, but often, their bodies were simply the final destination for emotions that had been blocked, ignored, or shoved into a dark corner for decades.
In my traditional Chinese herbalism practice, we talk about Qi stagnation. When your energy doesn’t move, it pools, ferments, and eventually causes pain. Western medicine calls it stress or trauma; my grandmother would have just said you’re carrying too much heavy luggage. Today, I want to talk about how to actually process emotions—not just "managing" them, but moving them through your system so they don't take up permanent residence.
The Physiology of a Feeling
When I was working the floor, we were taught to treat the symptom. But as a nurse, you quickly learn that a stomach ulcer isn't just about diet—it’s often about what someone is struggling to "digest" in their life.
From a physiological standpoint, an emotion is a chemical cascade. It’s cortisol, adrenaline, and neuropeptides flooding your bloodstream. If you don't move your body or allow that feeling to complete its cycle, those chemicals stay in your tissues. Think of it like a clogged drain. You keep pouring water down, and eventually, the sink overflows. Processing emotions is simply the act of clearing the drain.
Step One: Name the Guest
I’ve spent a lot of time sitting with people who feel "bad" or "off." That’s not enough. You have to be precise. Is it grief? Is it frustration? Is it a specific type of disappointment that feels sharp, like a needle?
In my practice, I ask my students to name the emotion as if they were greeting a guest at the door. "Oh, hello, Anxiety. I see you’ve arrived." By naming it, you move the activity from the amygdala—the reactive, fearful part of your brain—to the prefrontal cortex. You’re no longer being the emotion; you are observing it. This creates the space necessary for healing.
Moving the Energy: The Tai Chi Approach
I practice Tai Chi every morning at 6:00 AM, rain or shine. There is a reason for this. Tai Chi is a moving meditation that focuses on weight shifting and fluidity. If you feel stuck in a loop of repetitive, anxious thoughts, sitting still will only make it worse.
Try this: When you feel a heavy emotion rising, don't try to "think" your way out of it. Get up. Walk, stretch, or do some light circular arm movements. In TCM, we believe that stagnant emotions often reside in the Liver meridian, which governs the flow of Qi and blood. By stretching the sides of your body and moving your joints, you are literally telling your body that it is safe to release the tension. If you’re feeling heavy, move in a way that feels expansive, not constricted.
The Herbal Support System
Sometimes, the nervous system needs a little nudge to let go. When I am processing something difficult, I turn to gentle, nervine herbs. They aren't sedatives; they are allies.
I often reach for Chrysanthemum and Goji berry tea. It’s cooling, calming, and helps clear the "heat" that often accompanies irritability or anger. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by sadness, a little bit of Rose bud tea can be incredibly soothing to the heart Qi. These aren't magic pills, but they act as a gentle signal to your nervous system that you are taking care of yourself. It’s an act of ritual, and ritual is the antidote to chaos.
The Art of the 'Brain Dump'
After working a 12-hour shift, I used to come home and write in a small, battered notebook. I didn't write poetry; I wrote lists. I wrote down the things I was worried about, the patients I was worried for, and the frustrations of the day.
Then, I closed the book.
Writing is a physical act of externalization. You are moving the information from your internal hard drive to an external one. Once it is on paper, your brain doesn't have to work as hard to "hold" the thought. Try writing your feelings down, then physically tearing the page out and discarding it. It sounds simple, but it is a powerful message to your subconscious that you are finished with that particular cycle.
Closing the Loop
Processing isn't about getting rid of feelings. It’s about allowing them to pass through you like the seasons. We are in September now—the season of harvest and letting go. If you’re holding onto something, look at the trees. They are preparing to drop their leaves, not because they are failing, but because it is necessary to survive the winter.
Give yourself permission to be a little messy while you process. It’s not linear, and it’s rarely clean. But it is the only way to stay vital.
How are you feeling today? Is there a particular emotion you’ve been trying to tuck away? Pull up a chair and tell me about it in the comments below—I’m always here to listen.