The Root and the Flow: How to Process Emotions Through Somatic Wisdom
By Mae — Herbalist. Healer. Your grandmother's remedies, backed by a nurse's knowledge. ·
It’s September here in Portland, and the air has that crisp, sharp edge that warns us of the coming winter. My garden is transitioning, shedding its summer vibrancy for a slower, inward turn. As I prune my chrysanthemums, I’m reminded that human beings aren't so different. We, too, are meant to cycle, to shed, and to store.
In my twenty-five years at OHSU, I saw plenty of people try to “think” their way out of emotional distress. They’d come to me with high blood pressure or tension headaches, looking for a pill to stop the discomfort. Now, in my herbal practice, I see the same thing: people trying to “medicate” or “fix” an emotion before they’ve even felt it. But here is the truth, honed by both my nursing background and my study of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM): emotions are not problems to be solved. They are energy in motion—e-motion—that needs a clear channel to travel through.
The Body as a Vessel
In Western medicine, we talk about the nervous system. In TCM, we talk about the Qi—the vital life force that flows through our meridians. When we suppress an emotion—say, anger or grief—we aren't just “having a bad day.” We are causing a blockage in our internal river.
Think of your body as a house. If you keep stuffing the hallway with boxes of unaddressed feelings, eventually, you can’t walk from the kitchen to the bedroom. You feel stuck. That’s why, when I work with clients, I don’t ask them what they’re thinking. I ask them where they’re feeling it. Is it a tightness in the chest, the site of the Lung meridian where we often hold grief? Is it a knot in the solar plexus, the Liver’s domain where anger likes to park?
Step One: The Pause and the Label
When a wave of intense emotion hits, our instinct is to fight it or distract ourselves with our phones. Stop. Take a breath—not a shallow one, but one that drops into your lower belly (the dantian).
Give the emotion a name. Don’t judge it. Simply identify it: “This is fear.” “This is frustration.” By naming it, you move the activity from the amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—to the prefrontal cortex, where you can actually observe what’s happening without being consumed by it. It’s a small, clinical act of grounding.
Step Two: Somatic Release
Once you’ve named it, you have to help the body let it go. We cannot process trauma or stress purely in our heads. I often recommend a simple, rhythmic practice. In the mornings, before I start my consultations, I practice my Tai Chi. The slow, intentional weight-shifting helps me move any residual stagnant energy from the previous day.
If you don’t practice Tai Chi, try this: Stand with your feet hip-width apart. Shake your hands, your arms, and your shoulders. Actually shake. It sounds silly, but animals do this after a threat has passed to discharge adrenaline. If you’re feeling heavy, try a gentle “kidney tapping” massage—lightly patting the lower back area. It stimulates circulation and tells your kidneys, the seat of your vitality, that you are safe.
Step Three: Herbal Support for the Nervous System
Sometimes, the nervous system is just too frayed to settle on its own. This is where my grandmother’s kitchen meets my nursing kit. If I’m feeling particularly restless or unable to process a heavy emotional load, I reach for a gentle, nervine tea.
Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) is my go-to. It’s cooling, calming, and helps lift the spirit when things feel heavy. I also love a bit of dried Hawthorn berry. In TCM, Hawthorn is excellent for moving stagnant blood and, metaphorically, helping the heart let go of what it no longer needs to carry. Steep a tablespoon of dried herbs in hot water for ten minutes, cover it (to keep the volatile oils in), and drink it slowly. Don’t scroll while you drink. Just feel the warmth.
The Wisdom of the Seasons
As we move toward the autumn equinox, the energy of the world is contracting. It is a natural time to look inward. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or “stuck” this month, remind yourself that you are part of a larger, natural rhythm. You are not meant to be a constant, flatline of productivity. You are a human being with a pulse, a history, and a capacity to heal.
Processing your emotions isn't about getting to a point where you never feel pain again. It’s about becoming a master at letting the pain pass through you, leaving your internal house tidy and ready for the next season.
I’m curious—when the heavy stuff comes up for you, what’s your first instinct? Do you pull back, or do you try to push through? Let’s talk about it in the comments below. I’m always here to help you find your center.